In this life we are bombarded by images of what we are supposed to be. We see magazine covers and wonder how could I ever be that “you name it”: creative, thin, organized, wealthy, put together? As if we don’t leave the grocery store often enough wondering if we ARE or if we HAVE enough, we are also bombarded with this on television and social media. We are constantly asked to be more, do more, have more as if all that we are is not enough.
What is enough, anyway? Are your drinking enough water each day? Did you give your kids enough attention today? Did you get enough sleep last night? Do you exercise enough? Have you seen enough of the world?
All of this is in comparison to what, exactly?
I went to a Holy Yoga retreat some time ago and knew I was meeting new people and wondered if my personality was going to be too big for them…anyone who knows me, knows that I can be a lot to take. I also wondered if I was going to know enough to be helpful. I wondered if I was going to reflect His love well enough that I should even have a place there.
When I got to the retreat, one of the leaders had a bag. She told us all that we were there for a reason and that God would reveal that to us in many ways. She held out the bag and in it were smaller, blue, velvet bags with pendants in them. Each of us got to grab a small bag and choose a mystery pendant. They were not fancy, no gemstones or fancy filigree etching. They kind of looked like a small dog tag actually. But each of the pendants had a word on them.
I pulled out my pendant and in a split second, my racing mind was silenced. Mine said “ENOUGH.”
My mind was silenced for a few reasons. First, a reason that might seem easy to interpret. I am enough. We are all enough because we are exactly what God made us to be. Period. Every moment, every curve, every, counted hair on our heads was designed by a God who had a specific purpose for our lives and that is to reflect His love to those around us. And that is enough.
Another reason I was silenced was that I know our God. What He gives is enough. He gave the Israelites enough manna for each day…they needed not collect anymore than what they could eat in that day, because tomorrow would come and AGAIN, He’d provide enough. He gives us that same promise of enough strength for whatever journey He has us on, enough love from those around us to carry us when we lose hope, and enough examples of endless provisions for all that we need. And that is enough.
But, when I opened up the bag to see the pendant I had received, I immediately stopped. I drew in a big long breath and imagined God taking me lovingly by the shoulders, looking into my eyes and telling me “enough.” All of the things that you think you are, Jill. All of the things your think you aren’t. All of the worries you have of being the right person to fill a need, Jill……….enough. In the voice of a loving parent, who is exasperated by a doubting child, He says “enough.” And that’s enough.
Have you ever had this type of experience? Have you ever worried about something, questioned whether or not you were right for a position, whether you could do something or be something? Have you ever doubted that God had given you what you needed to complete a task? Well, listen to Him in the same tone: “that’s enough.”
That’s enough doubting. That’s enough worrying. Take a few moments to breath in what He gives you in the silence, in the quiet. Exhale all the way. With your next breath breathe in as much as you can. Hold it. That’s enough, open your jaw and let it out. Take another few breaths in and out and recognize that He gives enough…air, love, strength for the journey…enough of all that you need.
After months in the desert, the Israelites were hungry and tired, many were complaining to Moses and Aaron about their lot in exile. They wondered why they didn’t just remain in slavery where they were at least fed a little on a regular basis.
The Lord told Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather ENOUGH for that day and that day only.”
When the Israelites finally trusted the provisions of the Lord and believed that the manna would come everyday to fill them enough…they had ENOUGH. They had enough for 40 years until they reached the border of the promised land.
We have enough. We are enough. He IS enough.
And that will always be enough.